Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
