Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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