i love accidental penises.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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