Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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