I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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