I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
