his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
