Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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