I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
