ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
