oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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