sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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