can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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