i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We don't watch enough power rangers
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
