I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
