look no pants
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
