She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i think i just lost a toe
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
