I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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