I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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