I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
