Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
