You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
