I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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