Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
