So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Pants are for mortals
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