I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
im holly from the hills drunk
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
