Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
