Whod you bang
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
