dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
