now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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