like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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