its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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