Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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