If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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