where am i from again
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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