i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
