id be glad to
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
