pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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