We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
