hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
