btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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