bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
