what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
