Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
