wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
