what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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