your room smells of hookers.
And success
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
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