i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize