i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
