I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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