So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
