I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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